Thursday, November 3, 2011

Think Tank Study Finds Think Tank Researchers Underpaid

The release of today's study by The Ponds Institute for Statistical Research in conjunction with Last Stand for Children First is sending shock waves through the research establishment.  The study, which took a comprehensive look at researcher salaries in comparison with a wide variety of both public and private occupations.  The study concluded that think tank researchers performed one of the most important tasks in our economy, yet are not paid a corresponding wage.

"When you consider just how important the work of think tanks is, they are woefully underpaid by as much as 75%.  The real problem is that in the future promising graduate may begin pursuing careers doing stuff rather than joining think tanks," said Martin Zale head researcher for the study, "then where will we be?"

Critics of the study have pointed to the fact that the researchers arbitrarily assigned a Job Importance Value Efficient to various careers.  While teachers were given a .03 JIVE rating and doctors were given a .64 rating, think tank researchers were given a JIVE score of 22.85. 

"Not true," said Zale who explained, "it's extremely hard to put a price on the work think tank researchers do.  Are we underpaid?  Oh yes, we're underpaid."

1 comment:

  1. We need more of this...serious and funny, to contradict the piles of bs being fed to the public. It's sickening. Perhaps the establishment of our own Think Tanks to refute every last piece of crap spewed from publications like this one.

    Always keep this in mind: The composition of their foundation is never more than the perverted worship of data and money. We have research and reality on our side. It's called The Truth.